Three Life Rules
I’d like to think that as I get a little older, I am able to take in my experiences and utilize them to get a little wiser. Over the years, I have learned many valuable lessons from travel, which when I widen the lens, have truly translated into what I have distilled into three major life rules to live by.
Number One: If you want it, do it. Don’t wait.
Years ago a friend was getting married in Japan and I wanted to go so badly. I didn’t have the money and I didn't have the vacation time, so I concluded that I couldn’t make that trip happen. End of discussion with myself. It felt like an impossibility. Years later I still regret it. This was an experience that could never be replicated again, and I simply failed to believe I could do it. Looking back, I believe I was too afraid to ask for the additional time off. I was too afraid to go into further debt for a trip. In hindsight, how many pairs of shoes, or purses, or yoga pants would I have gladly forgone to have had that experience?
2020 magnified this life lesson. People often reach out to me and say, “I really want to go on this trip, but….”, and 2020 has shown us that the things we take for granted may not always be waiting for us later on. Some destinations may be closed, some businesses shuttered.
If you want something, if something is important to you, do it now. Go after it. Don’t wait.
Number Two: Experience the Journey
I remember when I was in school feeling that my life had not yet begun. To me, life would begin when I graduated, when I began to work, and with this mentality, I missed everything that was happening as I was actually living. My sights were only on the destination, and the journey was simply a painful process of necessity.
The retreat to Nepal is near and dear to my heart, and more than any other trip exemplifies this rule. As we walk each day, making our way from teahouse to teahouse, the journey actually is the destination. There is no hurry, which for those of us from a Western society, is often a very difficult idea to settle into. To slow and enjoy the sound of the rushing river, or the brisk air on your cheeks is all apart of the journey that is not to be missed, as are the moments that feel exhausting, or when you feel sick. These too are a part of the journey, and often I find, these are the parts of the journey from which I grow and learn the most about myself and what I am capable of.
Seemingly good or bad, stop wishing to arrive at the destination and begin to experience the journey.
Number three: Let Go of Perfection
This could take a lot more than a couple of paragraphs to summarize, but I will try my best.
Perfectionism is a setup, every time. It is an illusion that is created in our minds that can never be attained, and often becomes the paralyzing agent that prevents us from moving forward. From something so mundane as packing the '“perfect” outfit for a trip, or capturing the “perfect” IG shot, to something as big as arranging a “perfect” party, the amount of unnecessary pressure we place on ourselves is daunting.
I recently brushed out my hair, which had been in locs for years. The process, from start to finish was a journey. When I first had my hair locked, my silky smooth hair suddenly went to unruly and wild. It felt untamed and I had the urge to smooth it our and fix the flyaways. Eventually, I settled into its new form, and loved the freedom it afforded me and truly loved its unkempt nature. But, when the time arrived for the return to my natural hair, I found myself again with a brush, smoothing it out.
Recently, I hopped into a cab on the way to the airport. It was a nice day and the driver had the windows down. I had just gotten dressed and finished putting up my hair, admittedly I didn't spend much time on it. Regardless, for a brief moment, I felt annoyed that the wind was messing up my hair. I took a deep breath and pulled out the tie holding my hair back and let it fly free in the wind. I smiled and remembered just how good imperfection really feels.
Commit to never missing a moment again because you’re trying to make it perfect.
